So yea this week really is feeling heavy on my mental health and its to the point where I feel abit to emotional for my own good.
So yea where do I start on why I am feeling this way? Well I have my episodes where I dig myself down quite alot and try and shut out everything from my life.. this week is one of these weeks, I dont try to socialize, talk or even interact more then neccessary with people.
I sit in my room hiding away in solo playing games, look outside at the weather and just try not to think to much about anything really.. atleast thats what I been trying to do this week but with extreme temperatures and now thunder I havent really been able to be in my room..
Im not gonna lie I feel broken and like I am a burden to others even tho I probably am not.. My life isnt bad by any means but right now at this point im kinda low on both selfasteem and trust in myself.
I feel like im wasting my life away, I have family and friends but deep down somewhere I feel like this life of mine is not filled with any purpose, I love my work but somewhere I feel like I am neglecting my dreams and passions. Sure I might be “young” only abit over 30 but life will pass me by and one day I might wake up old, alone and filled with regret even tho I try and not regret my decisions.
I fear the unknown not gonna lie to myself and say its gonna be alright, but It normally is gonna be alright in the end.
Someone have said “life is a journey and only you can do that journey” well my journey even tho I am probably where I am meant to be is currently feeling abit like a hill.
Im also trying to figure myself out more, cause the amount of fear, anxiety depression im probably holding within myself eventually always comes to light in some of these posts. My blog this blog helps me to give my thoughts an outlet instead of building up and slowly eat me alive. Yes some topics i bring up are tougher then others and some topics i write a whole post about just to delete and make another post.
Currently im listning to the rain hitting the roof and just writing these words and thoughts out.
Well ima keep listening and let these droplets of water wash me away to the land of dreams and sleep.