So i have been thinking when i were gonna bring this subject up again. Its been a while since i posted about exams, i feel like its been a while anyway maybe im wrong…
But yea i have a week now until my final exam of the 6th semester is finally over and i am just gonna say this semester have turned me outside in and upside down questioning so many things that i wont know where i am gonna start.
But i will try so yea as i mentioned in the recap of 2020 its been an unstable fall season for me, cause i been questioning myself, my choises and my life in general and its quite hard to stay positive to something which does not have a place in my heart anymore. So i dont only blame myself but i am anoyed at the events that lead to this part. Sure now you might think but its only one semester left and you dont have to focus on the old. But thats not the problem there have always been times where i get like this to a certain degree. But this semester have drained me both mentally and emotionally to the point where i dont know if i care anymore about this. I have been trying to get this degree for 6 or 7 years now if i dont remember wrongly.
But i am gonna finish this degree but i dont know if i will be working with this for the rest of the life, probably i wont cause even tho i have the qualifications and i do a really good job (according to everyone) my heart is not there anymore and thats painful to say but its true.
But yea i sidetracked like i kinda do with the final exam aswell… I have finished about 1/3rd of it and hopefully i will be able to finish it tomorrow or Monday evening latest cause i the more i think and reflect on the things i want in it the more it appears there in words on the paper so yea i think it will be fine. Its not a huge exam (3000 words) and i done over 1000 so thats all good. But yea my head, mind and heart is everywhere and nowhere so yea rambling seems to be a good word to use for the blogposts i put out. 2021 have already started and yes its a new year and it started way better so i have some peace on my mind about that.
But yea soon the door to uni closes and a new door will open and i will keep stepping towards the future where i hopefully have a clear mind and heart, but for now i will take one day at a time to see where this leads!
As the last part of this blogpost i am gonna show my latest sketch and yea now i will dive back onto the exam!