So yes for the first time in years i think, i gotten a feeling of proudness in myself about myself and its cause of this new sketching hobby, i always liked to draw but never been good or even giving myself time or even been taking space for myself to sit down and just tried sketching around.
I think the more days passes the more happiness i finally am finding again about myself and maybe even for myself.. feels abit weird to det but yea i havent felt happy or proud of myself in years. This might sound weird for people that read and think: “But your in uni studying for something you love doing?” That is true and dont get me wrong i like working with kids and learn together, but somewhere deep down it is not my deepest dream job, nor is making art a dream job for me. No i have a dream that maybe one day in the future i wont be terrified of trying it, but for now that will be left a dream and nothing more.
But i have been contenplating life alot the past few weeks and i am sencing that life is more then work, get paid and eventually die. If i could and knew i could afford i would be up in the north hiking in the mountains observing the wild animals and trying to connect more to the nature. Cause francly my current life is not even bad, but somewhere inside i feel trapped and burden by this reality. But like i done all my life i will keep pushing everything down and just keep stepping in the same tracks thats already laid out for me…
So yea seems i went deeper then i should today but somedays the words write themselfs!