Sunday back home

Well the week of vacation is now over and tomorrow its back to work for another 2 weeks! But time really does fly.

I woke up and i felt abit better then yesterday so thats a good thing I guess. I also did get an reply back from my teacher about the minor change I needed to do in my thesis so thats now fixed and I sent it back in.

Well to continue on yesterdays blogpost abit and I realised today that deep down I think something is broken like not in the litteral sence as its something that can be fixed with some glue, no there is something deep down that keeps trying to come up to the surface and tell me whats wrong but I cant understand the signals.

I have always known I been abit broken and distant to what I feel others do in the same situation. But its like people are always ahead of me both in mindset and thoughtprocess and that might not be true but it what I currently feel like.

I also feel like there is this deeprooted fear of something always in my head and my mind, like I always feel like im being hunted by something. When I think back this feeling have been around me for aslong as I can remember and its like I cant chase it away, but if I just keep waiting it will eat me alive and slowly make me lose myself even more then im already am. Even tho I currently is stepping closer to a person I think that I am supposed to be, but it seems like whenever i get to a place where im okay there is that haunted feeling bringing me to close up again.

What I wanna know is what am I afraid off? What is this feeling of being haunted at all times? How far will this chase continue before one of us fall?

Well I guess one day the answer will come to me.


By Dan

Swedish, preschool teacher, learning more about life and myself every single day!

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