I have been wondering what is next in my life, i feel at peace for the first time in years. I dont judge me to hardly anymore and I see so much more things clearly then i did before.
Yesterday evening i decided to stop being so hard on myself, I always been a person who always looked at myself as the one who always break things and hated myself for it, but no im done with that. Life is supposed to be abit rough around the edges but sooner or later it will smooth out. Yes I can always work on myself to improve myself but i dont have to throw myself under the bus.
I feel lighter and I also feel very happy for the fact that amazing people i have met during the past few years, even tho i dont talk to the people nor will i ever meet them again. Each and everyone of them taught me something in the end, some were caring some were cold and some were horrible people but each of them in true reflected aspects of being human that I will bring with myself through this life, who i wanna be and who i dont wanna be as a person.
I feel that a new chapter is about to open in this book i call life again, I have talked to a person who truely make me think more about life and actually bring me back to how i was over 9 years ago. To the point where i genuinly cared about a person again, i honestly feel i am in a good place for the first time in years! Why do i say “to the point where i cared for a person” Its cause 9 years ago i lost a big part of my compassion towards others, sure i cared for a selected amount of people but yea now i genuinly feel compassion towards others again. Life might be colored in a light and happy color right now but its far from perfect but i feel very relieved that i havent lost my past self wich i thought i had.
I am walking a new road and i have found a part of me that i thought was lost and even tho it took 9 years for it to resurface well it took me 9 years to start healing to this point. So patience, time and reflection truely help heal a broken person maybe not fully heal but to the point where i actually like myself abit more then before.
So i will walk forward looking up to the blue sky that somedays have no clouds while others have heavy grey clouds hanging down, but its still the same sky and it will always be above my head.