So have you ever felt like you have walked on a road and been feeling like someone is just following and when you look behind you noone is there except your shadow who follows your steps every day?
I just been thinking today and in truth all this week that i am slowly wasting my life again, like i do the same things every single day its like having a movie or a song on repeat for an indefinate amount of time…
I wwake up, have breakfast, clean myself up, go out and work, come home sit at my computer and stare into the screen, like its something important that will happend on there but it never will. Then i go sleep and the cycle once again repeat itself. I am unsure if im just feeling unfullfilled and the fact that the past few days i have felt like finding a place to call “home” once and for all. If that is causing the problem for me to feel like im doing anything meaningfull with my life i dont know..
But yea i feel like im that shadow that my life is looking back at like im chasing my own life and the life itself is the main body.. might sound weird but thats how i feel right now.
But my heart is filled with hope and passion for someone else so atleast i have that going, but for now i will have to walk this road by myself and that sucks like properly sucks.. I knew i was alone before, and the feeling of being alone was something i could accept but right now that feeling is even bigger then it was before..
The sad fact about me is that i get emotional engaged with new things quite fast and then when things goes south my feelings still burn as strong but my brain doesnt register that shit is going sour and in the end i end up crashing like a bomb and leaves me broken for a day or two potentially months/years until once again the same thing will happend, i find something or someone to invest my time into and then slowly it will all repeat itself, but it takes me a few months to register if anything is wrong.
Atleast i know who I am and that is someone i am happy to be for now, i francly have accepted myself more then i ever done before!
Anyway now its weekend and hope you guys will have a great one!