This is once again one of the more heavy weeks that is weighting me down quite heavily but all i can do is let the tears flow as it helps leaviate some of the confusion i feel inside..
So yea if im gonna be honest so i dont know whats wrong with my head anymore, i feel like im completely lost inside a maze and my head and heart really is struggling with understanding eachother and that makes me unable to understand anything..
A part of me just wanna give up everything, im feeling abit like i did before and everything is losing its charm for me.. I feel like im in an inbalance wich i shouldnt be but i guess that these past months events is now catching up to me and it also makes me realise how much im really hurting..
This pain im feeling is coming from the heart, the one month i spent with someone even tho they were so far away was the happiest moments in my life and then they all dissapeared.
Even i understood it wouldnt last but it still hurts cause i lost a part of myself, i found something i been yearning for so long just to lose it again. I gave my heart, my soul and my deepest parts to that person and they gave me theirs. I said it was a mutual decision to end what we had but it took me off guard and for the first time i lost something that was something i really wanted, to be happy and feeling connected to someone on a much more emotional level then i ever before have been.
I truely want them to be happy and if they cant be happy with me its better to let them live a life where they can become happy. Cause if you love someone you let them go, but it hurts it hurts so bad that right now all i can do is let the tears flow.
We all have our own life, but we seek connection to other people and the past year really have taught me so much about myself, about who i am and what i want.
This song is what im gonna have on repeat for a while i leave the lyrics here:
“Open your mind ’til I’m deep inside
Let me get so lost in you
Nothing but strangers, both you and I
But no one can judge what we do
Maybe we’ll pretend And say we’ll meet again someday but
We know it’s the end
So act like you love me, love me
Even if it’s just tonight
Talk like you love me, love me
Even if it’s just a lie
Yeah, I will be there for you I will care for you I will die for you
For the night Yeah, I will be there for you I will care for you I will love you but just for the night
Feels like we met in another life
‘Cause I know every part of you
Bringing our secrets into the light
Even if we know the truth
Baby let’s pretend
And say we’ll meet again someday but
We know it’s the end
So act like you love me, love me
Even if it’s just tonight
Talk like you love me, love me
Even if it’s just a lie
Yeah, I will be there for you I will care for you I will die for you
For the night
Yeah, I will be there for you I will care for you I will love you but just for the night”
//Dan
Danwolfmoon 