Have you ever felt like your falling even tho you know your sitting safe on the ground without a way of really falling?
Well i am feeling abit like that currently, its not like i try think about it to much but currently i am feeling/thought i felt like i was in a good place but maybe that was a lie to myself, its weird but yea somedays i feel like how much i even try and convince myself that i am ok or even that tomorrow will be a better day. Well thats kinda hard to decide, mental fortitude and preparing for a positive day is easier to think but when it comes to make it reality thats when it is not that easy.
Deep down i been wondering abit about what would really happend if i start actually follow my own brain and mind without thinking about the consequenses and just go ahead and do it. Cause right now i would love to stand ontop of a mountain screaming out a relief scream cause i am unsure to be honest how i am coping with all the shit thats going around.
I feel like i keep fooling myself into thinking everything is fine and all will be ok when in reality i dont feel that and i just brush it off as its just that little voice in the back of my head that just tries to make everything better. But sadly like everyone (Maybe?) I have bad days and even tho i started writing in a more positive way on the blog today is one of these days when i feel like my negativity is taking hold and i dont feel like its a good day its not.
But i also am thinking why do i have to hide that i am having a shit day? Really why do i have to pretend i am having such a good day just today? I keep seeing so much shit on facebook, twitter, insta, etc etc you name it and its filled with this “happy” posts and whats pisses me off the most is some people who post that “happy” on the different social media is lieing cause they are not happy, they are in destructive relationships but they keep that brave facade online cause they dont wanna worry others with their problems.
But yea thats not my problem but i am tired of acting happy all the time online, why is that our online precense needs us to be positive by nature? No we dont have to be positive and happy everyday some days are shit and filled with so much crap that if it was a boulder it would break our bodies into dust. But as we are survivalist we adapt and move forward and suddenly the big curshing feeling doesnt seem that huge anymore cause we adapt our thinking.
But yea if im having a shit day you will see it on my posts and if i have had a good day you will see that, cause i have had enough of this stupid pretense thing people do online. Just be honest IF I ASK “HOW ARE YOU DOING” i ask that cause i genuinly am wondering how you are doing, but then again if you dont feel like you should burden me with your problems then thats up to each and everyone but sometimes the best thing you can do for me is actually tell me the truth just to make me focus on shit thats worrying you and then i can leave my shit on the backburn and we can focus on taking care of eachother!
So yea what did i wanna say with this? well take care of eachother and sometimes its easier to deal with others shit then your own so sit down, talk to eachother, and open the valve to whatever is eating you up, friends and family is around you and your never alone at going through rough patches in your life. But remember if you hold it in it will slowly and surely make you feel like everything is unberable. Its time to let us all become honest with eachother and dont be afraid to speak your mind. Become the person you want to be and not what everyone else thinks and makes you out to be!