Today started with me not sleeping it at all last night.. I think the AC was on cause it was blowing cold air in the room all night… It didnt help that i was mentally broken down and felt like jumping out through the window, but meh the day continued with more exams and tons of rewarding conversations wich was amazing. To share so many thoughts and discuss topics all day been great! Then on the way home i get the first dagger, result from first retake another F grade, the teacher said if i wanted i could book a call with her, so i sent her an email saying yes i would like a call, tell me a time that works for you.
1 hour after that grade came another came in and it was another F grade. I just lost all my motivation, not only since yesterday when i was “mentally and emotionally” murdered i lost it, i walked 3.6km in the sun with my winterjacket and 2 bags to get to a car that took me home.
I am mentally ruined and i dont know what to think, feel or even use my energy for anymore. Next week we will see what the teachers will talk to me about cause i dont know what to do now. I have 7 weeks left before summer and if i read the rules correctly i cant continue on to the next term. So it really feels like i cant become a preschool teacher just cause my texts seems to be complete garbage. Even tho i follow the instructions and make sure all the pieces and bits are in the exams i send it. That is not enough.. And my classmates are feedup with me aswell so now i am mentally broken, defeated physically and i feel like im not welcome at all anymore.
Well next week new week we will see.