Friday, real heavy day..

I will just pour my inner thoughts out today, cause it is one of the worst day for me for quite some time.

Today started pretty decently, but then it kept going downhill.. and i can not shake this feeling, and i have been feeling like this for the past 2 hours now without it going away.

Today i was asked to vaccum and that was it, nothing more nothing less. BUT i completely broke down and cursed outloud cause something inside me got me so pissed off that i just exploaded and i couldnt hold it back.

I francly have had enough i dont feel well, i havent been well since October last year and now i am still not well enough.. I feel like all my choices, my whole life is not my own choices. To be honest i dont feel like i have a life at all. The life i have feels useless and it scares me, but it is weird cause right now i will start focus on school more and just survive these last years.

Even tho i feel like i need a break from myself, cause francly life isnt perfect and i know that far to well. When i look at the world today i see how bad or good life can be, but sadly this is the lottery of life and not everyone has the same ability to make choices.

Now i will take a break from my brain and i hope to clear my mind.